This whole project just isn't funny anymore. This, compounded by the loss of my pirated wireless connection, is why I've neglected the blog. This is what's happened in the last two weeks:
1. Larry Ubell the super queer-friendly building inspector came back for another pass. Last time he came the bathroom floor was still down and he didn't see the worst of the beams. He told us how to fix them. And, he told me that I "reacted to him like a guy" and made him worry that he'd "lost his mojo" as a straight guy when we met the last time because I didn't subtly flirt with him the way straight women usually do. Now that's a historic homoimprovement moment! Now this isn't a conversation I'd usually have with someone inspecting my house, because even to talk about it is to potentially open doors to undesirable attention. But this is a pretty unusual situation, and I really appreciated actually getting to hear how I was perceived in this context. He hit the nail on the head: to flirt, not flirt, react to inquiries that are implicitly about why I'm not flirting with plumbers, electricians, contractors - this the subtext of all of my homoimprovement interactions. The shocking thing is that he noticed himself, his own reactions, and could understand what it all meant - once he saw my rainbow do-hickey. I guess his gay daughter deserves a lot of credit for this? I don't know. But he complained that I didn't put up his name on the blog, so here it is, the very first real endorsement from HomoImprovent: Accurate Building Inspectors: "We're SUCH a gay friendly buisness." By the end of the meeting I was angling for a job there... but he said I'd have a lot to learn. I guess I'd better stick with what I know a whole lot better than building codes: Foucault.
2. The beams, the plumbing, the roof, the electrical: a total and utter disaster. The beams need steel braces like a bucktoothed kid. Everytime we look we find more cuts in them. I think if we'd gotten the bathtub filled up with water it would have crashed through to the floor below. Of course we couldn't get it filled up because the drain pipe leaks so much. All the plumbing is coming out, along with around $5000 for the beams. Even the bathtub has to come out now! While we're at it, down comes one whole wall of the bathroom - the one with the sliding door that just makes my blood boil every time I look at it. My girlfriend and I went at it with a crowbar already and discovered a million little pieces of wood, plaster, metal framing, crap in other words, all nailed and screwed in so securely that we couldn't get the damn door out. The structure of the house, in shreds, and this tinker toy project is like a brick shithouse! I can't wait for demolition day.
3. One bit of progress: half the apartment floor is sanded and stained, 1/2 Ebony 1/2 Jacobean Minwax, as suggested on Apartment Therapy, followed by 3 coats of AFM Safecoat water based polyurethane. I think it looks pretty good, although I wish I'd gotten a second coat of stain. The poly is great though, doesn't smell bad at all. Verazanno Flooring got the stuff for me from Green Depot and didn't charge any extra money. I'm hoping they liked it and will start using it, so much better for the residents and the workers. Next I'm going to get the ceiling fan and a new light fixture installed, then this half of the house will really start to look finished. I'm so excited. Above is a before picture of the floor and the fireplace I wanted it to match with.
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